Narcissism and Materialism: A Match Made in Hell

How feeling empty inside makes narcissists want to fill up on stuff.

Narcissists feel empty on the inside and try to fill that emptiness with stuff.
Psychologists say that narcissists like nice things for appearance's sake, but the need is deeper than that.
People who have a robust sense of self should be less likely to be materialistic or hoarding.

Narcissism is characterized by a few fundamental traits that set it apart from other personality disorders. Perhaps easiest to see in the narcissist is that they are developmentally stunted individuals who can be of any chronological age.

We all get cranky and need to take a nap sometimes. But they are [what is commonly regarded as] "childish" [not "child-like", which is a wonderous and wonderful thing about human nature] in very fundamental ways, such as, seeing things from only their point of view; having little to no self-awareness; and lacking true empathy (here defined as being able to understand and connect with other people's feelings, thoughts, and actions). We've all seen the type at work, at school, in our families, and out there in the world.

Another related, fundamental character trait of narcissists is that, as adults living out a sentence of arrested development that began at a much younger age, they're not really people. It's not that they're aliens or nonhumans; they are biologically human beings like (hopefully) me and (hopefully) you, but they're not really persons, in the philosophical sense of a human being who has a self, with beliefs and intentions, with selfhood and a conscience. Tragically, they're more like "philosophical zombies" —imaginary beings that look like us and effectively mimic human behavior and emotions but are actually "dead" inside, similar to horror-film zombies only in that way.

In a physical, energetic sense, narcissists are like black holes, sucking into themselves everything around them in an attempt to fill the utter emptiness that comprises them. And this is where the materialism—or, when extreme, a tendency toward hoarding—comes into play. Psychologists have long noted that narcissists tend to enjoy the finer things in life—fancy meals at trendy restaurants, fine clothing, attractive partners, and flashy cars—and this tendency is usually portrayed as simply the narcissist wanting to project to the world an image of being attractive, successful —someone that others want to be around.

But I think this unhealthy obsession with materialism goes deeper for the narcissist. I do believe it's a fundamental need to try and fill up with stuff, to counter that deep-seated feeling of emptiness that comes from not having a sense of self, or any self-awareness, of not knowing what one believes or thinks or how one presents in the world unless there is constant mirroring from others.

I'm reminded of early modern philosopher George Berkeley's philosophical worry that if things existed only in the mind, then they might just "poof" disappear when one ceases to think about them. When I leave my house in the morning to go to work, does my house suddenly cease to exist once I'm focused on my commute and other things? Bishop Berekely, of course, overcame this philosophical worry with God: Have no fear because, even when we stop thinking about things in the world, their continued existence is assured by God's thinking about them.

In a sense, narcissists might feel like they would cease to exist without the constant reification from other people, from outside sources. Like plants need water, they need compliments, affirmations, and praise from without, because there's nothing within. By contrast, a healthy individual can spend time alone, can introspect, and feel confident that their self endures. For healthy people, their self-image is, of course, somewhat shaped by what the world tells them about themselves, but it is also composed from within, from an enduring sense of self that has independent thoughts, beliefs, intentions, and reflection.

On the surface, we see narcissists as self-absorbed and selfish, which they are. But they're not choosing to be this way. They are made this way, just as among belly buttons, some are innies and some are outies. Narcissists are psychological innies, drawing people, energy, attention, and stuff inward in an attempt to fill that inner void.

Healthy individuals, by contrast, are at least capable of being outies: Having a rich, full, well-developed self, they are able to focus outside themselves, on others' needs, wants, desires, dreams, and thoughts. In essence, you have to be a self to recognize another self. Wishing a narcissist could be more giving or empathic is like wishing your innie belly button were an outie. It's just not possible. It wasn't made that way.

Link between anxious attachment and materialistic values revealed in new psychology study

Research published in Personality and Individual Differences reveals a fascinating tie between individuals with anxious attachment styles and their tendency to indulge in status-signaling consumption — a behavior significantly brought on by materialistic values. This new research offers insights into the relationship between psychological attachment styles and consumer behavior.

Attachment theory, a cornerstone concept in psychology, explains how early life interactions with caregivers shape our adult relationships. This theory identifies three primary attachment styles: secure, anxious, and avoidant. Avoidant attachment is marked by a dismissal of relational needs and a focus on self-reliance. Secure attachment is characterized by trust and confidence in relationships, and contrasts sharply with anxious attachment —where individuals crave closeness and reassurance, often leading to relationship challenges.

While previous studies have delved into how these attachment styles influence various behaviors, including consumer choices, the specific connection between these styles, particularly anxious attachment, materialism, and status consumption — or, the ways in which people strive to improve their social standing through a pronounced consumption of products — remained underexplored.

The curiosity driving this study stemmed from a hypothesis and preexisting literature suggesting that anxious attachment styles might influence consumer behaviors — specifically the tendency to purchase status-signaling goods. This hypothesis was rooted in the observation that anxiously attached individuals might use material possessions to gain attention and reassurance in social scenarios, a behavior not typically associated with secure or avoidant attachment styles.

To explore this, researchers conducted two large-scale studies with a total of over 2000 participants recruited from Prolific Academic. They employed a survey methodology, where participants reported their attachment style, materialistic values, and tendencies towards status consumption. Simple, direct measures were used to assess these variables, with a focus on understanding the relationships between them. This approach aimed to reveal patterns and connections indicative of underlying psychological tendencies.

The findings were striking. Individuals with anxious attachment styles reported significantly higher levels of materialism and a greater inclination towards purchasing status-signaling goods compared to their counterparts with secure or avoidant attachment styles. This behaviour was mediated by their materialistic values — or, simply put, the findings suggest that individuals may use status consumption to cope with insecurities in relationships.

It is important to note certain limitations in this study. The reliance on self-reported data can introduce biases, and the cross-sectional nature of the study also means that while relationships between variables can be identified, causality cannot be firmly established. Additionally, the study’s sample may not be entirely representative of the general population, as a small percentage of participants reported an anxious attachment style. The researchers acknowledge that socioeconomic factors, which were not controlled for, could also influence these findings.

Still, the research opens up avenues for further exploration into the intricate ways in which our past experiences and emotional make-up shape our consumer habits and

“Individuals with an anxious attachment style differ from those with secure and avoidant attachment styles in the propensity to consume status-signaling goods, with their materialistic values constituting a plausible explanation for this difference,” the researchers noted — highlighting that this insight not only enriches psychological and consumer behavior theories, but may have practical implications for things like marketing strategies and consumer education.

Agata Gasiorowska, Michael Folwarczny, and Tobias Otterbring at the SWPS University of Social Sciences and Humanities, Reykjavik University, and the University of Agder authored this study. It was published under the title “Anxious and status signaling: Examining the link between attachment style and status consumption and the mediating role of materialistic values“.